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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24502921">the 25 million dollar celebration</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lohoron/pseuds/lohoron'>lohoron</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Silicon Valley (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys In Love, Caught, Caught in the Act, Drunk Sex, Hand Jobs, M/M, Silicon Valley - Freeform, compliments during sex, jared loves compliments during sex i just know it, references to the jerking algorithm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:07:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,779</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24502921</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lohoron/pseuds/lohoron</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>takes place during season 4, episode 8; the party scene</p><p>they celebrate 25 million dollars for pied piper, holy shit, <em>finally</em>, and then jared and richard get way too drunk and end up in the garage with a tie on the door.</p><p>gilfoyle and dinesh piece everything together and determine that they definitely slept together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jared Dunn/Richard Hendricks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the 25 million dollar celebration</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>bit of a funny/smutty/fluffy mix hehe... saw the party scene and was like,,,,, perfect. anyway. some consent warnings at the end notes! thanks for reading, enjoy!! also this ended up being so much longer than i thought aaaaahh</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>things were finally going their way.</p><p>25 million dollars. from the stupid VR company. god, richard felt like he'd just won the lottery. and he kinda had.</p><p>he stood next to jared, who was getting a little tipsy himself, and erlich, who was appropriately celebrating with a few bong rips. he stood in a blue hoodie and a shocked expression on his face and he almost asked jared to pinch him. almost.</p><p>and then, suddenly, he doesn't care. he forgets about everything that he has to do tomorrow and he just thinks about right now. and how nice it all is right now. so he downs a beer. and a horrible fucking tres commas short of tequila. </p><p>jared had been so concerned when he pulled <em>the face</em> ("richie, are you okay? is everything okay?" and "you still look grossed out. do you want some tea? i can run in and make you some tea."). richard had smiled and buoyantly taken another tequila shot and then he definitely felt drunk. definitely.</p><p>he remembers slurping the next shot out of jared's belly button. he remembers jared doing the same for him. "it tastes better when it's been on your body for a little bit," jared drunkenly uttered, and richard had flushed bright red and terrified and thanked him before walking away in horror.</p><p>richard feels hazy and dizzy and for once, it's not because of jared's lovely scent. he's so drunk. so, so drunk.</p><p>he stumbles over to one of the pool chairs, and erlich quickly joins him. "we are the champions. my friend." he's high and he's drunk and he isn't making any sense but richard, for some reason, "woo"'s, and laughs and erlich smiles at him. because they're finally doing it.</p><p>and jared has his long body slung comfortable around a little tree stump near the left side of the pool. he had two beers. and a shot. and a half? he doesn't know much (he tries to convince himself, so that he's more open to learning more and sees a lack of knowledge as something to grow upon) but he knows that he's too skinny to drink that much. </p><p>so when richard finds him still slung over the stump like that about two hours later, when everybody had long gone inside, he's still very drunk. and so is richard. "jared?" richard asks gently, sighing as he sits down next to his friend. jared looks back at him with a smile on his face, loopy and uncontrolled, and he leans playfully against richard. "let's get you to bed... sweet.... sailor." richard does not know why he chose the words -- jared's only referred to him as captain a handful of times -- but jared gets this pretty little sparkle in his eyes and richard suddenly doesn't mind it.</p><p>he allows richard to lift him a bit as they shakily walk back to the garage.</p><p>richard looks at the set-up: jared's tiny little desk with his tiny little bed right across from it. he feels bad. he feels bad that he's taking this, never protesting it. but that's just who he is. richard knows that.</p><p>before he knows it, he's out of his supply of richard's arm wrapped around him and onto his stupid little bed with his back against the cold wall. "i'm just -- i'm just gonna head on over, too. to my bed. to do a mighty, mighty sleep." richard mentally solids himself. <em>retard.</em></p><p>he starts to leave, but jared pulls shakily at his sleeve. "stay?" jared sounds scared, and it scares richard in return. but he nods, shrugging off his hoodie, laying it on the floor. he moves forward a bit, vision still shaky and glazed over, taking jared's stupid green vest off. "thank you, richard."</p><p>"yeah. no -- of course. i don't, uh, i don't mind." he watches as jared pushes himself against the wall, making barely enough space for richard. but it'll have to do. richard sighs then, for once thankful that it's kind of chilly in california, and crawls into the bed with jared, facing each other. "hey," richard says, timid and hesitant.</p><p>"richie... you have lovely eyes," jared starts, his eyes closing and opening and closing. he feels like he's floating and his body is arranging sentences for him. "your whole face, really. really lovely. i'm sure girls love to kiss it."</p><p>richard's face turns completely red, watching as the words plummet out of jared's mouth. "no, no -- not really. not a lot of them, surprise! ha-! uhm, sorry, this is --" he takes a deep breath in in order to stop himself from talking. jared smiles at him. even after his dumb fucking ramble, jared still smiles at him.</p><p>"how is that possible? richard, i love your face." jared's fingers stroll over richard's nose. "nose -- your nose i like a lot. i like that it's crooked and big and doesn't fit, really. it's perfect." richard doesn't know whether to take offense to that or not but before he can decide, jared's fingers are on his eyebrows, "bushy but not too much, and not to mention your beautiful eyes. i can't say enough about them."</p><p>"jared, c'mon, you don't have to -- you don't have to pretend like this. i'm okay with being ugly." he's had to be. jared shushes him, his fingers now stroking over richard's lips. it's enough to make richard freeze up.</p><p>"very pretty mouth. i bet that kissing your mouth feels great. i bet that i can taste the coffee and the alcohol and the pizza you had ten hours ago. i -" richard's breath stutters as he feels jared's minutiae dig into his bottom lip, bringing his face closer and whispering,"richard, can i kiss you?" jared's leaning closer and closer and richard can't fucking stand it anymore.</p><p>he presses their mouths together hot and sloppy and wide. his tongue is exploring jared's mouth, something he's been wanting to do since he fucking saw him, and his fingers immediately stroll on jared's collarbones. the beautiful delicacy of him.</p><p>jared returns the kiss with even more passion, as if he sneaked a peak at richard's hand and realized he had more to offer, raising his price, and sucks on richard's bottom lip desperately. </p><p>"can i touch you, too? make you feel nice," jared's little whisper tingles into richard's neck, and he nods before he can even begin to classify what's going on. and then jared's hands are taking off richard's shirt and he's topless and it feels so exposing. he starts to unbutton jared's shirt, wanting to feel him, too. wanting to explore his every curve with his little hands. "tell me if you don't like something i do."</p><p>even drunk, jared is the nicest person he's ever had sex with. even drunk, richard is the most impatient and un-sexy person to ever exist. </p><p>"ah -- jared. i would like it if-- i would like it if a lot of things... were done to me... if you... if you know what i mean." richard doesn't even fucking know what he, himself, means. of course jared does.</p><p>"want me to touch your cock, richard?" richard almost chockes on his spit as he watches shirtless jared next to him smile with the intent to please.</p><p>"jared. oh, jared. if you want to. if you want to do that then i want to do it, too." he feels faint of heart when jared presses a thumb against richard's nipple and kisses open-mouthed on richard's lips. "woo!" he suddenly chants, some kind of fear overcoming him. he just needed to say it. and jared somehow understands. because he's jared.</p><p>and then that same exact jared is pulling his sweatpants down until he can work them off of his feet. and it's the same jared who then gets up without saying a word, leaving richard naked and dressed in nothing but boxer. </p><p>after a mere few seconds, or lifetimes, if you'd ask richard, jared is coming back into the room with a smile on his face. "tie on the door. and... and the door is locked. we are officially in business." richard stares up at jared and wonders how the actual fuck he's even real.</p><p>jared's smile doesn't fade as he climbs on top of richard and kisses down his neck. richard places one hand in jared's short hair as jared trails down all the way to the band of richard's boxers. they're both lightheaded and hesitant but so willing. and so loving. and so drunk.</p><p>"jared. jared. i want -- jared," richard tries to sound something out, but then he feels jared's cool hand on his hard cock and he can't even fucking breathe anymore. all the life is knocked out of him. "holy fucking shit. holy motherfucking shit."</p><p>"is this okay, richard?" jared asks, his voice sweet like honey. richard shows him that it is by bucking his hips into jared's fist. he grins. "you like it?"</p><p>richard nods and whimpers, leaning up to kiss jared on the mouth. he laps circles around jared's mouth with his tongue, their teeth clinking together and their hands all over one-another. "i do. i like it, jared. a lot. i like your hands to touch me." he doesn't even bother to acknowledge the error in his statement. </p><p>richard is moaning, desperate and lovely underneath of jared. his eyes feel glossy, this time actually because of jared's fucking scent, everything is too much and not enough at the same time. he leans in to feel every little part of jared. to make sure that he knows everything because this is the last time he sees jared dunn exposed like this.</p><p>"jared, jared, please. i want you to -- i want you to fuck me." jared's hand stops its movement and he feels lightheaded. fucking richard. holy shit. </p><p>"really?" his voice is scared, again, and richard wants to kiss him and so he does. "you want me to fuck you?"</p><p>"jesus, yeah. it sounds so hot when you say it. so much better." richard does his little chuckling thing and it stops as soon as jared's hand starts to jerk him off again.</p><p>"then i'm gonna fuck you, richard hendricks." richard can't help the hot load of cum he spills over his tummy and into jared's fist. he's squirming and he feels like he's worth a million (or 25 million, i guess) dollars. jared is holding him so close and so sweetly and so wonderfully that he finally understands the value of everything in the whole entire world. "oh, you came," jared says it cheerfully with just a twinge of shaky alcohol still on his lips. richard turns red and nods, staring down at the mess between them.</p><p>"i- i'm sorry. i -- i- uhm, ha!"</p><p>he gets shut up by jared pressing his lips softly against his own and he decides that that is fucking perfect. "good boy," jared hums, and then richard feels frozen in time, "have you ever been... penetrated, richard?" </p><p>the look in jared's eyes, truly worried and wondering and beautiful, makes richard miss a beat while breathing. there's nothing he can do except watch as jared strips himself from his jeans and his underwear until he's naked right on top of richard. richard is definitely dreaming, right? this is fucking insane.</p><p>jared's mouth in trailing down his neck while richard still searches for a fucking answer. "no," he chokes out, and jared cooes. </p><p>"i'l be your first," jared murmurs, his lips sucking deep bruises against richard's collarbones. beautiful. richard nods, feeling his dick go hard again, and he knows that the room isn't spinning but it sure does feel like it. "you are so pretty."</p><p>he feels jared's mouth linger down until it's right by his naked cock. "jared, oh, jared. i'm feeling -- i feel like--"</p><p>"do you not like this, richard? we can stop." and it's so fucking sincere richard finds it almost difficult to believe. he shakes his head furiously, and jared smiles again, his mouth now ghosting over richard's cock. richard definitely is dreaming. right? right?!</p><p>but he can't find himself to care, moaning out, "no, jared, don't stop. please -- please, don't." jared's limbs are hanging off of the little bed as his mouth ghosts against richard's inner thighs, kissing the space wet and hard. "oh, jared. jared. your name feels so good on my- in my mouth. wanna say it forever. jared. jared. jared." </p><p>jared smiles in between richard's legs, staring up at him as his tongue licks a slow circle around richard's head. richard shivers, his 'jared' chanting coming to an end, and being replaced by a breathless grunt. "i love the way you say my name," jared whispers back, one of his long hands reaching up to twitch richard's nipple. richard moans deep from his belly, his body crunching itself up into jared's mouth. </p><p>"jared, jared, jared, ah -- holy fuck, <em>jared</em>!" richard's fingers bury inside of jared's hair as he:</p><p>        - takes richard deep into his mouth<br/>
- feels his tongue lather underneath of richard's cock<br/>
- gags and pushes his nose against richard's untrimmed and unruly pubes<br/>
- deepthroats richard like it's his fucking job</p><p>"hinky dinky! haha! jesus, holy -- wa<em>aaaaahh</em>?" richard's sounds are ridiculous but jared loves all of them, jerking off his own cock while he wets richard with his saliva. "fuck me, jared, fuck <em>me</em>. please. now."</p><p>jared takes his lips off of richard's cock, obscenely popping his head out of his mouth with a heavy breath out and a shit ton of pre-cum and saliva dripping off of his chin. richard can't believe how beautiful he looks right now. "reach into the drawer?" jared whispers, voice a bit coarse, and richard quickly finds jared's supply of lube and condoms and... handcuffs? whatever. none of his concern.</p><p>jared rips open a condom faster than richard can type a line of code and richard wants to puke because it's all so perfect. it's so perfect as jared positions them so that richard is against the wall with his back and his legs are open wide over jared's shoulders. it's so perfect as he feels jared's beautiful, huge, hands lift his ass and tease his cock. "oh, darling, you're gonna be much too tight for my cock."</p><p>the word cock coming from jared's mouth sounds fucking obscene, and richard whimpers from just the sound.</p><p>"no, jared, i'll -- i'll make it work. just, just -- please. i want to feel you inside me." jared smiles happily and he nods, only ever wanting to please richard (mr. genius mind who i trust with my entire life), as he leans forward to place his lips on richard's. "'m ready," he mumbles, pecking jared's mouth and getting ready to feel what this feels like.</p><p>the very tip of jared's hard, condom-covered dick is inside of richard's asshole and richard feels uneasy and in pain. jared sees him flinch and immediately pulls out, terrified of hurting him. "are you okay?"</p><p>richard nods. "more lube, i think. i think that would -- uh-- would solve it." and now jared nods in agreement, popping the bottle open and spreading lube all over richard's obscene asshole. he slips a finger in together with the lube and richard's eyes open wide. "ooohh... oh, wow. that -- oh, oh <em>wow</em>!" richard grasps a hand into the sheets and moans it all out incoherently, his sweaty frame sprawled and shaking. jared is more than satisfied, still working the finger inside, richard's hole nice and lubed up.</p><p>"hmm... you like my fingers, darling?" richard nods slow and painful and jared presses the finger all the way in and smiles, sly and knowingly. "good, lovely. you look so pretty right now. i just wanna tell you now. because, because once i'm inside of you, it's done. i'll ejaculate on the spot. i know it. so you need to know now. you look so, so pretty, richard."</p><p>his entire body flushes bright red, shivering painfully as jared places compliments over him like it's a weighted blanket. somehow, he believes him so much. he believes that he looks pretty. and then he feels a second finger inside of his asshole and he fucking <em>screams</em>, his lip trembling with jared's name. "oh, oh, oh, jared! you're gonna -- gonna make me cum again. i -- i-- i've never done that. come twice. at once. i -- oh, fuck, fuck," richard feels weak and incredibly strong at the same time because while he mutters out his dumb little words, jared is retracting his fingers and inputting his hard cock back into the equation.</p><p>there's no other warning as jared slowly pushes the head of his penis inside of richard's wet and dripping hole and richard is in fucking heaven. for sure. for fucking sure. jared is a fucking angel and he's lucky enough to have been next to him while being appointed to heaven. "jared," richard's weak voice pants, scratching his fingernails into jared's hips. jared stares down at him with bright, beautiful eyes as he rocks inside of richard slowly. "jesus. this --i can't. feels so fucking -- so fucking good." he stretches his back out and closes his eyes, feeling flushed and sweaty.</p><p>jared rocks his hips slow inside of richard, biting down on his lip in pleasure. "fuck, richard. you're so tight. feels so good. tight little hole." richard wants to gasp at his obscene language but he doesn't even have a chance to because he is fucking shaking in pleasure and he's hard and he really, really, feels like he wants this to last forever. "i'm gonna come, richard," jared whimpers, leaning forward to kiss richard's neck. </p><p>richard sighs and his breath hitches, letting jared ruthlessly place hickey after hickey while richard comes all over his chest with, embarrassingly, no additional touch to his hard-on. but he lucks out in not having to be embarrassed for too long because jared's breath is hot against his ear as he grunts, sounds high-pitched and awkward and wonderful and then it's all he can focus on. jared's hips quickly snapping into him. jared's beautiful voice moaning into his ear. jared's chest brushing his. jared's hands on his ass. he feels so pretty.</p><p>it's only after jared has taken off the condom and thrown it to the side after tying it that richard regains his conscious mind again. and he's panting, loud and necessary, as jared sits next to him and wraps his arms around him. "you are so beautiful, richard."</p><p>richard's brain goes fuzzy as he looks next to him, at jared, and treats him like he's a little treat. he kisses him soft and pretty and it's full of everything jared deserves. richard tries to seep every appreciation he has for jared into this one fucking kiss because he's never going to be able to fully say any of it. fuck. "he was right," richard finds himself mumbling, before he can even process his own mind.</p><p>jared frowns, kissing richard's stupid little curls. "who was right?"</p><p>"john mulaney," richard squeaks out. jared frowns deeper.</p><p>"you had sexual relations with john mulaney?"</p><p>richard blinks quickly and shakes his head in surprise, chuckling deep and awkward. "no! god, no. i -- when he said that, you know, i just -- i didn't know what it would feel like. the thing in his special. about the doctor check-up?" </p><p>and then jared's eyes sparkle and he nods, kissing richard again with glee, "yes! i remember that. we watched it together."</p><p>richard smiles, leaning his head against jared's shoulder, unable to even care about the fact that his stomach is sticky and covered and his clothes are on the floor. his mind is cluttered with <em>jared. jared. jared.</em> and he's so fucking grateful. his body is cluttered with <em>jared. jared. jared.</em> and he's even more fucking grateful. </p><p>---<br/>
the morning after</p><p>"hey, gilfoyle, did you see richard at all last night?" dinesh walks into their makeshift computer room and stares over at gilfoyle already coding away in his little corner. </p><p>he turns around in his chair, expression blank as ever, "no, i did not."</p><p>dinesh sits down at his seat and sighs. "i didn't see jared either."</p><p>"very cool, dinesh."</p><p>and just as dinesh is about to say <em>fuck you, i code better than you</em>, richard walks out from his room. he looks disheveled and messy and untidy. so, nothing out of the ordinary. "hello. hello, the two of you both. uhm -- so, i'm just gonna -- actually, have you seen jared? i haven't seen him in a while... hmm... i hope he's doing alright." richard feels the lie on his tongue and he swallows it. he remembers being all sticky limbs and sweaty chests when he slipped out of jared's arms in the morning. he had puked when he got back to his room immediately, of course.</p><p>dinesh and gilfoyle both raise a brow at each other. because richard is wearing a very high cut sweater. but it's still there. it's still obvious. the two hickeys on richard's pale neck. they're harsh and purple and intense and dinesh immediately feels the need to point it out. "what's that on your neck, richard?" </p><p>richard's eyes go wide, and then he remembers he has to keep it together, so he regains composure. "fucked a girl last night. yeah -- super-- super hard. re<em>eeeaa</em>lly gave it to her good." dinesh raises a brow at richard now, and richard laughs in that awkward and scared way that he does and then he's walking towards the front door. "okay, i'm gonna -- i'm just gonna go for a bit. get a coffee, maybe? anybody want anything? i'm gonna go now -- to phil's!" </p><p>before either of them can even begin to think of something to say back to him, richard is out the door. </p><p>and then jared enters from the garage.</p><p>"hello, everybody," he cheerfully says, his hair a bit less put together than usual. gilfoyle and dinesh look at each other again, with this sort of omniscient look on their faces, and then back at jared to greet him. </p><p>the front door opens again and it's richard again, stumbling back into the room until he's faced with an eyeful of jared. he stares at him for a second.</p><p>
  <em>"do you want me to touch your cock, richard?"</em>
</p><p>he shivers and turns red. he breaks any and all eye contact with him and rushes to his room without saying a word.</p><p>gilfoyle stares at dinesh with a blank face, but the type that dinesh has come to interpret as <em>holy shit, you saw that too, right?</em> and dinesh looks back at him as if to say <em>fuck yes i saw that. what the fuck?</em></p><p>"richard is looking handsome today, right?" jared smiles, and then richard is walking in front of him out of the door again. he's terrified. the guys are gonna know. "i'm gonna head on over to meet with laflamme about this deal, okay? 25 million! woo!"</p><p>as soon as he leaves the door, gilfoyle and dinesh get up and shuffle the whiteboard in.</p><p>on the top, written in dark marker,</p><p>
  <em>how to catch jared and richard having sex</em>
</p><p>and so it begins.</p><p>---</p><p><em>two weeks later</em> dinesh and gilfoyle have taken their whiteboard into dinesh's room and are still working on their fucking plan. similar to the jerking off ratio that all of them developed for erlich, their math focuses mainly on theoreticals. gilfoyle reaches for his satan mug for the ten thousandth time just today and dinesh moans about not being able to come up with a theoretical location to catch them in.</p><p>gilfoyle, thank god, can't hear his whining over the death metal he's pounding through his room. just loud enough to drown out sound, not loud enough for anybody else to hear. </p><p>he proposes richard's room, but then is quickly wiping it off the board because they don't have random access to richard's room.</p><p>right outside their little, loud, dark and frankly grotesque smelling room, richard and jared wander through the front door. "so, hoolicon is coming up, and, i was thinking, what if we went?" richard tries to lay the idea out gently. jared smiles soft and nods, his mind elsewhere.</p><p>it's been two fucking weeks and they haven't talked about it.</p><p>their time together has been awkward and sad and tense and richard hates it and jared hates it but neither are willing to take the first step.</p><p>until jared sits down on the couch and sighs, placing his head in his hands. richard frowns curiously, sitting down next to jared and patting his back softly. "hey, jared, we don't have to go, really, it's okay."</p><p>jared does one of those weird cackles that makes richard wanna soothe him to bed gently. "i don't care about hoolicon, richard," jared says, "hoolicon is like the... like the foster sister i had to leave behind in a hostel. i want to go and save her, but i know it's too dangerous to enter again. but she's also a bit of a bitch, so i don't really care."</p><p>richard hides the smile forming on his face. "then what's it about?" he places a hand softly on jared's back. it's basically the most intimate they've been since that night.</p><p>"us, richard. you and me?" richard revokes his hand and chuckles in stages. (1: why would you wanna talk about us? 2: all we did was have loving sex. 3: i don't think i like how serious you look right now.) "we can't keep pretending like it didn't happen. we... we engaged in really wonderful sexual relations and i... i don't know if i want to ignore that. i don't think i do."</p><p>richard turns red, chuckling in different stages now. (1: sexual relations 2: oh my god you wanna talk about it 3: does this mean you wanna do it again?) "please, don't say that it -- don't say <em>wonderful sexual relations</em> please."</p><p>"what else shall we call it, richard? coitus? your beautiful and gentle anal defloweri--"</p><p>"<em>oooohh WOW!</em> uhm -- yeah, definitely not that last one!" he shifts in his seat on the couch at the mention of the activity.</p><p>truth is, the mere idea of that day is the only reason he has any motivation to masturbate lately. the mere concept of jared moaning into his neck again. oh, god, he's gonna get hard during their serious conversation. </p><p>"then tell me what to do. how can i make this a more comfortable experience for you, richard?" jared grabs one of richard's hands and squeezes it softly. </p><p>richard coughs, fidgeting a bit more, "just call it -- just-- uh- just sex. i -- i'm sorry. that we -- i mean, that we didn't get to talk about it. it's just -- i've -- it was a lot. for me. i've never been into -- <em>ha!</em> -- into men. just you. so, ergh, i just -- i'm sorry."</p><p>jared gives him a beautifully gentle smile and shifts closer to him on the couch, their hands still touching soft and with immense pressure at the same time. "i understand," he smiles, "it's like working the corner for female, older prostitutes and then suddenly, there's a charming young man that wants to take you home." richard frowns, nodding in a very hesitant and non-committed way. "and he offers good pay!"</p><p>"right, not really, jared, look. i-- i really liked. i really liked what we did. and i was- it was probably -- nope, definitely -- the <em>hottest</em> thing that's ever happened to me. and -- and i guess that -- that the stuff. like the 'us being employees and you being a boy' thing. i guess that stuff made me -- made me think i could just, i don't know. like i would never be allowed to talk about it. i -- i wanted it to be... to be painless, i guess."</p><p>jared frowns at that now. "why would it be painful in the first place, richie?"</p><p>"because. you know, because. like. you don't really -- like, you don't really like me. in that way. you know? or like. it's hard to make it all work." </p><p>"you are an insane man if you think that i don't like you in that way." richard laughs, supposing that it's true, jared scoots even closer, their thighs now touching, faces and bodies unbelievably close. "i want nothing more than to do what we did a million times over. but you haven't been talking to me lately, and i suppose it scared me away from telling you my feelings. i'm not <em>just</em> a sexual being."</p><p>richard squeezes jared's hand and jared is surprised and delighted and then richard looks up at him with his pretty blue eyes and jared melts. "so, what? how do we. how do we make it work?" jared shrugs his shoulders. </p><p>"we'll try. you know that i'm not going to quit you even if you -- even if we ever break up. i admire you, richard. in every way possible."</p><p>and then richard feels his lip trembling and he laughs. sweet and short, he chuckles and places both hands onto the sides of jared's head. "come here, you skinny, stupid idiot," it's a mere mumble, but jared melts into it. his lips are against richard's again and it feels even better now that he's sober. now that he's normal and himself and so is richard.</p><p>he's really kissing richard. and this time he's not drunk. "the 'idiot' was redundant in that sentence, richie," jared jokes against richard's lips.</p><p>"how the fuck do i like you?" richard smiles back in the most endearing way, and then he feels himself being pressed steadily against the couch pillows. jared's covering on top of him now, kissing over his jawline and letting his slender fingers play into richard's stupid, beautiful curls.</p><p>"hmm... is anybody home?" jared asks, his mind forcing him to acknowledge the openness and vulnerability of their situation, and richard shakes his head, and for jared that's enough because along with the shake of his head, richard presses a firm hand against his buttocks.</p><p>and jared yelps, and richard gives his skinny butt a squeeze and lets jared control their mouths. they move like they're made for each other, breath in, breath out, sucking on richard's bottom lip and sucking on jared's top lip. </p><p>"do you wanna have some fun?" jared's tone is suggestive and very cautious at the same time and richard is sure that he's not a real person. he even wiggles his fucking eyebrows, god.</p><p>"hands. i want your hands," richard shivers into their kiss, moaning when jared dips down a bit to let his erection slide over richard's thigh. but quickly, jared is unbuttoning the fly of richard's jeans. "ah. ah. i want your hands and i want. i want your fingers inside me, too."</p><p>"well, love, my fingers are attached to my hands. so you're in luck." richard cackles loud and genuine as jared smiles down at him. he's pressing kisses over richard's neck and his right hand is now stroking over richard's clothed dick and he hums again. he hums right against the hickey he just placed on richard's neck. "you smell so good. smells like ideas and... and vanilla and loveliness. morning dew." richard is never going to get used to jared complimenting him like that.</p><p>"fuck, jared, you smell -- you smell so clean." his pillow talk is not on par. but jared squeals in excitement anyway, his hand slipping just beneath the waistband of richard's underwear. "yes, yes. please."</p><p>jared puzzles their lips together, soft and lush, and he feels himself floating away when his hand finally touches richard's dick. he's hard, thank god, and jared's hand grips him tightly with a lot of surprise and a lot of desire.</p><p>"do you like the way my hand feels around your cock, richard?" richard wants to cry from just the sentence alone. holy fucking shit, was jared a fucking porn star at some point?! because every little thing he does is sending him into overdrive and he can't stand it anymore. he can only nod to jared's question, his mouth pre-occupied with moaning and whimpering. "i like when you make those little sounds of yours."</p><p>richard digs his heels into the cushions of the couch, tears sprouting in his eyes because holy fuck this is <em>real</em>. "i like -- jared. fuck, fuck. i like how your -- how your breath feels. how it feels on my neck. so nice and warm. uh -- god. god, shit, fuck, fuck," richard whines, feeling jared do exactly what he said he liked. his breath is hot on richard's neck and his hand is jerking him off with a near micro-aggression. </p><p>"drunk richard doesn't swear <em>this</em> much," jared whispers it into the crook of his neck, sealing the deal with another hickey just below his ear. richard manages the shortest chuckle ever and then he's holding onto jared's t-shirt with all his might because he feels so fucking good. loves the way jared makes him feel.</p><p>"i'm gonna cum, i think -- oh. wow. i'm so close, jared," richard shuts his eyes tight and gets ready to release with jared whispering <em>yeah, come on, honey. you got this. cum for me.</em> and then --</p><p>"<em>oh. my. god.</em> GILFOYLE!!" </p><p>dinesh.</p><p>oh my god.</p><p>jared looks at richard with wide eyes, who looks back with wider eyes. and jared's hand is completely still on his cock and richard feels the most severe case of blue balls coming on.</p><p>"did you--?" jared asks, voice quivering.</p><p>before richard has the time to answer, dinesh is back in the kitchen looking out at their position. and so is gilfoyle. and thank fucking god that they can barely see anything. but it's still incredibly difficult to dispute. jared knows this. richard knows this. richard especially knows this when he peaks his head backwards to see the two of them standing there. and then it's four pairs of eyes staring, saying nothing.</p><p>"well." gilfoyle says, coughing loud, "i did not see anything."</p><p>dinesh is almost giddy next to him. "i did! ha! i did! this guy <em>fucks</em>!" gilfoyle is heading back to his room and starting to erase all their stupid work and dinesh is still in the kitchen, now jumping up and down excitedly.</p><p>"dinesh, i'm sorry to be so frank, really. but can richard and i have the room so richard can achieve his orgasm?"</p><p>"<em>JARED!</em>" richard squeaks in horror, slapping jared's arm. </p><p>dinesh only smirks and puts his hands up. "yes. but of course. have a good orgasm, richard!"</p><p>and, well, richard did. with much humility. which jared kind of encouraged (<em>"they saw us being dirty, richard. did you like that? want other people to see you breaking?"</em>) and to say it was appreciated was an understatement.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>explicit consent on richard's part; jared's is more implied.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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